A good death can mean whatever you like. A good death is “one that is free from avoidable distress and suffering, for patients, family, and caregivers; in general accord with the patients' and families' wishes; and reasonably consistent with clinical, cultural, and ethical standards.”
An artical by Scott LaFee called Successful Dying: Researchers Define the Elements of a “Good Death” The literature search culled through 32 qualifying studies. It identified 11 core themes of a good death: preferences for a specific dying process, pain-free status, religiosity/spirituality, emotional well-being, life completion, treatment preferences, dignity, family, quality of life, relationship with the health care provider and “other.”
I will be here to help every step of the way to ensure and advocate for your right to a good death.
Just like a birth doula or midwife sits with an actively laboring woman and provides comfort, support, and advocacy, a death doula who offers active vigil care does the same—but for the active dying phase. Sometimes, death workers who focus on vigiling prefer to call themselves, death midwives. A childbirth midwife is there for the birth and transition into life; a death midwife is there for the transition into death.
They work together with Medical Staff and Hospice. They help the dying and their families plan and prepare for the end-of-life. This includes preparing Wills and Advance care plans. Making legacy projects and empowering clients to have a "good death."
I know that some people may think this path I've chosen, working with those at the end of life, is odd. You may think it to be strange or weird. That is an understandable response; because we are all taught that death is something to be avoided. Uncomfortable to talk about and a solemn and sad occasion. The transition from this world to the next—or the transition from a state of being alive to being dead, however, you choose to describe it—can be as beautiful and meaningful as the time of birth. Certainly, it is sad to say goodbye. But it doesn't need to be frightening. As a death doula/death midwife, I help individuals—as well as their friends and families—face death with a little less fear and a little more love.
End-of-life Death Midwives/doulas educate and empower the dying and their families on their end-of-life care, funeral, and burial options. They may introduce or help a dying individual walk through the steps of creating a living will or advanced care directives. After those documents are completed, the doula may help advocate for the dying’s end-of-life decisions, especially when they are no longer able to voice those wishes themselves.
What better way to remember that every day is precious than to work with those who are near the end of life? People often ask the question, “If you knew you were going to die next week, or next month, or tomorrow... what would you do?” Those who work with death have this idea at the top of their minds on a continual basis. Not in a fearful or morbid way—but in an empowering, positive way. In a way that reminds them to live every day to its fullest!
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